You Know Darn Well What You Did, Mister
A simple rule of thumb in writing dialogue: it is never okay for a character to rhetorically ask themselves "What have I done?".
This is the worst line of dialogue in X-Men: The Last Stand-- a film containing its fair share of cheesy lines. Magneto says it as Phoenix (formerly the schoolmarmish Jean Grey) wreaks havoc on all manner of mutants and humans, whether or not they’re on Magneto’s side. Magneto can see that this most powerful of mutants has no control over her feelings or her powers… and he’s the one who brought her to the party.
But he still hasn’t earned the rhetorical "What have I done?". Because Phoenix’s wrath shouldn’t be all that much of a surprise. Magneto was there when this woman killed his oldest friend, Charles Xavier-- a man she herself loved. That should have been a teensy hint that she was a little off. The movie sets it up more that Magneto is willing to take a chance to have her be part of his team, not that he's ignorant of what could happen.
Besides, there are always ways to show a character's regret and get that big dramatic pause. In this case, some options were:
And I don't want to hear any of your cheeky "but this film was aimed more at kids" arguments. The Jar-Jar defense didn't work before, and it won't fly here.
A simple rule of thumb in writing dialogue: it is never okay for a character to rhetorically ask themselves "What have I done?".
This is the worst line of dialogue in X-Men: The Last Stand-- a film containing its fair share of cheesy lines. Magneto says it as Phoenix (formerly the schoolmarmish Jean Grey) wreaks havoc on all manner of mutants and humans, whether or not they’re on Magneto’s side. Magneto can see that this most powerful of mutants has no control over her feelings or her powers… and he’s the one who brought her to the party.
But he still hasn’t earned the rhetorical "What have I done?". Because Phoenix’s wrath shouldn’t be all that much of a surprise. Magneto was there when this woman killed his oldest friend, Charles Xavier-- a man she herself loved. That should have been a teensy hint that she was a little off. The movie sets it up more that Magneto is willing to take a chance to have her be part of his team, not that he's ignorant of what could happen.
Besides, there are always ways to show a character's regret and get that big dramatic pause. In this case, some options were:
- Have Magneto ask another character, in a kind of shock: "Pyro... what have I done...".
- Better yet, have another character, in fear and rage, ask him: "What have you done?!" and then we'd see the reaction on his face as he considers the consequences of his actions.
- But the best option? Let the "what have I done" sentiment come from his facial expression alone-- we'll get it, and we'll care. And guess what? You can write that right into action lines so it's clear to anyone reading the script.
And I don't want to hear any of your cheeky "but this film was aimed more at kids" arguments. The Jar-Jar defense didn't work before, and it won't fly here.
posted by Jennica at 5:19 p.m.
5 Comments:
It really was the weight of the little thing that did The Last Stand, wasn't it? And very mcuh the lazy writing that distinguishes it from the first two "X" movies. It's not just that it's hackneyed--it's redundant and, to say the least, incredibly inelegant.
Similar to Darth Vader's "NOOOO!" in Revenge of the Sith. (When, you know, a second later he destroys the room he's in out of grief and rage, which would have been plenty effective at conveying what we needed to know.) Which is interesting, because that calls back to Magneto's flashback in Auschwitz at the beginning of the first X-Men...
Are people really suggesting X3 was meant as more of a kiddie movie than the other two?
I didn't even identify that line as being bad. By that point in the movie I was so desensitized by bad dialogue that it didn't register.
No, I was more concerned with how Angel managed to fly from New York to San Fransisco in the same time it took for the X-Men to get there on a jet.
By the time we reached that line in the movie, I'm afraid I was overwhelmed (or is that underwhelmed) by the whole shebang. Evil henchmen camping? Breakout the marshmallows and kumbaya. Apparently there wasn't a single mutant that could whip up a fortress on demand. I suppose someone set up Magneto's tent for him...although it's possible he worked the canvas himself.
I agree with your sentiments, Jennica. A line that I hate with equal passion is "Why are you doing this?" Yes, please stop the movie and explain your motivation. At this point I must admit I went and saw Ultravoilet (it was my birthday; I went for free!) and almost walked out of the theatre when they used "why are you doing this" not once, but twice. I also think it was roughly the third line in the film - if not the first.
Anyhoo...enough of the ranting or I'll be asking "what have I done!!!"
Cheers.
I don't even recall noticing the line, the dialogue really wasn't what I was interested in at that point in the movie (and by 'that point' I mean pretty much the whole movie).
As per Magneto's actions: I don't think it was so much about him being willing to take a chance, I think it was more about his disagreement with how Xavier dealt with her. He thought it was better that she be free (mentally that is), consequences be damned.
Driids-- good point. But did it really feel like Magneto was being altruistic when he led her out of the house? I got that that was the pretense, and it was well established by the flashback... but in that scene, I didn't buy it. I thought he was largely thinking of himself and the cause there.
And my complaint stands: there's no way it should be shocking to him that Phoenix might be unpredictable.
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